


find the stars

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Analoceit - Freeform, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I would never project on Virgil, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Panic Attacks, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Virgil's boyfriends help with the aftermath of a panic attack.





	find the stars

**Author's Note:**

> i'm totally projecting on virgil

The static lifts and Virgil sits back on his heels with a gasp, frowning when he sees the thin lines slashed across one wrist, beaded with red like some particularly macabre bit of jewelry. He sags against his bed as the pain makes itself known, sizzling and stinging against his nerve endings. _Shit_.

He doesn't even know what prompted it. Another panic attack. There's no _reason_ for a panic attack, but panic attacks are illogical. Logan's taught him that much. Sometimes they'll just happen, and that's okay.

But _this_\- Virgil makes a noise of disgust, low in his throat. He thought it was over. He thought he'd _stopped_. The metallic scent in the air mocks him. He heaves a sigh. Time to find the first aid kit and patch himself up. At least the kit is well-stocked. Logan's made sure of that, despite them all being sides of Thomas.

"Virge, are you in here?" Deceit calls from the doorway and Virgil's heart freezes in his throat. For a moment, he debates if it would be wiser not to answer. _He'll probably be able to tell if you do,_ his brain points out. _Lies of omission are still lies, remember?_

"Yeah, Dee," he calls out wearily. "Just in the bathroom." _Shut up,_ he berates himself. _Now he'll come in here, he's gonna _see_-_

_He was going to see anyway, unless I really did plan on living in my hoodie._

"Virgil?" Deceit's voice draws nearer. "Are you all right? You don't sound well. Logan, he's in here!" Deceit shouts behind him and Virgil sinks down on the edge of the tub, shame and embarrassment a thick sludge in his stomach. Great. Now _both_ of his boyfriends are going to see what a mess he is. Fantastic.

Deceit appears in the doorway and his eyes widen in surprise, seeing Virgil slumped on the edge of the bathtub, telltale red smears decorating one wrist.

"Virgil?" Deceit asks, his voice considerably gentler. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Virgil says thickly, wincing when Deceit's tongue flicks out and catches the lie. "I don't know. I had a panic attack," he mumbles, his cheeks flaring red. 

"What's happened?" Logan asks, crowding into the bathroom next to Deceit. As soon as he sees Virgil, he immediately slips deeper into the room, kneeling next to Virgil and retrieving the first aid kit. "It's all right, Virgil. I'll help."

It stings, but Virgil relishes it. He deserves the pain, he knows he does. He doesn't look up until Logan's sealing an enormous band-aid across his wrist, carefully tamping down the edges. To his surprise, he can't detect a trace of disgust or exasperation on either of his boyfriends' faces.

"You should hate me," he blurts out. "I- I messed up, and I said I wouldn't again, but I _did_, and-" He stops, shoulders heaving. 

"Breathe, storm cloud," Logan says calmly. "You know that neither Dee nor I would ever hold you to some sort of promise about self-injury?" At Virgil's hesitant nod, he continues. "You had a panic attack. Obviously, your other coping mechanisms weren't working, for whatever reason. We aren't going to hate you."

"I could never hate you," Dee murmurs. "_Ever_, Virge."

Now tears come, misting his eyes, but the other two crowd around him, pulling him into a gentle, yet comforting hug. 

"Come on," Deceit says, after a few minutes have passed. "I was going to ask if you'd like a movie night. Does that sound nice?"

"Yes, please," Virgil says shyly. "Um- could it be in someone else's room?"

"Of course," Logan says. "I still have the night sky set as my ceiling in my room if you would prefer that. Or we could always go to Dee's-"

"I vote night sky," Deceit puts in immediately. Virgil laughs, the sound a little watery but still _there_.

"I also vote the night sky," he says. "And uh..." He pauses. "Thanks, guys." Logan's face softens, a tiny smile creeping across his mouth.

"You're welcome, storm cloud," Logan says softly. "Always."


End file.
